04/29/17 8:51pm

My father asked me if there’s still a chance for me to pass the subject which I’m having problems with. These past few days, I couldn’t look him in the eyes and I’m too ashamed to look at his face, even more answer that question.

I remained silent for a while, but when I realized that he’s still waiting for an answer I simply said to him, in monotone, that I don’t know. I used that tone of voice to make me appear strong and unaffected even though I’m on the verge of tears. Because the last thing I want to do is to cry in front of my father.

Even though I didn’t see my father’s expression after I said that, I can definitely tell that I disappointed him once again.

But honestly, “I don’t know” is the best answer I could come up with. I couldn’t answer him with “no” because I don’t want to share the haunting anxiety with him, and at the same time I couldn’t answer him with “yes” because I don’t want to go giving people false hope.

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